"Empty" Nest

Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook probably know that  both of my girls are moving off to college this week, and Mike and I are entering into the "empty nest" phase of life.  I've heard it described so many different ways.  I've heard other moms say they couldn't wait for all of their kids to be gone, and I've heard of moms that became depressed when their children left home and their marriages suffered.  It has honestly seemed a little surreal to me all summer.  Now that it is almost here (Rachel leaves tomorrow morning), I can feel the Lord encouraging me, and I know that everything is going to be alright.  I did have a few moments yesterday morning, when I was the only one up and I was surveying all of Katelyn's stuff neatly packed and sitting in the dining room, where I really felt the emotion of one phase of life ending and another one beginning.  And I'm sure I will have days in the coming weeks where the tears flow freely.

But this evening, I found myself wondering if it is possible to go back to the newlywed stage of life, only with a lot more life experiences under my belt.  Is it possible to "come out on the other side", so to speak, and return to that new and special time?  In the first newlywed stage, you wonder what your home will one day look like, you wonder how it will feel to be pregnant, what your children will look like, how many you will have, who they will become, etc.  Mike and I now know all of that, and yet there is so much more life to live and enjoy.  I'm thinking it might be fun to already know all of this stuff, and yet still be (fairly) young, feel great, and actually have time and opportunity to pursue new (or old) goals.  As I let my thoughts wander a little, I find that I have many, many interests and things I want to do. 

First, I want to spend way more time in prayer and studying the Word of God. That is the most important thing in my life.  I love to organize, so I want to finish several of those projects.  There are two, maybe three, rooms that I want to redecorate.  I want to read more.  I want to pursue more ministry opportunities, as the Lord brings them my way.  I want to blog more. (I have wanted to do this for months, but I am too much of a perfectionist, and I kept thinking I had to come up with the perfect topic.)  And, very importantly, I want to spend a lot of quality time with my wonderful husband.  All through the years that my girls were growing up, I would think ahead to this time when they would leave home, and I determined to be prepared, to have a happy marriage that would thrive even if the children weren't in the home any longer, and that I would have my own life so that my daughters would not feel the pressure of being personally responsible for their parents' happiness.

I think I am discovering that we have arrived at just that place, and that, perhaps, the nest won't be so "empty" after all. And, hopefully, I can pursue all that the Lord has for me, all the while continuing to enjoy the wonderfully close relationship I have with both of my girls, knowing that they both love God with all of their hearts. They're happy, healthy, and pursuing their own goals in life.  I know I will have many days where I miss them terribly, feel sad, miss the "little girl" days, but I believe that, by the grace and love of God, our best days are ahead of us. :)

Me, a blogger??

Ok, so a blog is a new idea for me.  I always think of blogging as more for teenage girls or young, newly marrieds.  And I'm not really all that verbal of a person, don't feel the need to talk a lot, and mostly I'm content to to think, pray, and generally be introspective.  I find that if I express myself to my husband (who is my very best friend in all the world) and the occasional girl friend, I am happy.

So why should I blog at all?  Actually, as "non-verbal" as I tend to be, I think I really have something to say.  I have a goal for this blog.  The reason it is called "Breezes" is because that's what I want it to feel like when someone reads it.  I want it to be a fresh word of encouragement, an inspiration, a word of wisdom inspired by the scriptures, that will feel like a refreshing summer breeze on a warm day.

Maybe I'll blog about my personal life (highly questionable) and tell funny stories about my girls (they will especially appreciate that), or maybe I won't--haven't quite decided yet.  But this I do know...God has been very, very good to me, and I know He wants to be good to you too.  And I want to share what I have learned and know with the hope that it will bless you as it blesses me. :)

I can't wait to see where this goes.  I have felt for several months that God wanted me to start this blog, but I kept telling Him that I was absolutely sure that no one would want to read it.  I also tried to tell Him that I don't particularly like the thought of revealing my personal life on the internet.  Neither of those very valid arguments swayed Him in the least, so I finally decided to just obey what I thought He was telling me. And you know what?  It already feels great.

So thanks for reading this, my first ever foray into the blogosphere. :)